i want a new diagnosis bipolor is a catch all diag.?

i have relized alot about my condition, what works and mostly what won't work. but i am on a fixed income of broke with child support (turns 16 on 23). i like thorazine and can not take changeing again....... i become phycocotic ( I am no dr. but this is what happens) starts mild risk takeing leading toward drug addiction (and i am addicted to them all) soon i find myself running away from nothing fealing as if i turn arround or stop i will be shot dead or worse captured!!! i have moved from my safe zone 2 1/2 years ago now i must face this big unknown but not alone for i can talk directly to god and he is sure to answer me eatch time in its time..... just quit smoking on the 13 and i had one today after dr. apt (bad boy!). I have my dog also who when with me as i wig she brings me back Mollie is faithfull like Jahova she (mollie) taught me all i know on faith and god.......Mollie and the creator have developed a new perspective on it all... can i turn myself into the er if able to catch this train of thought and relize i must be thorizined???? i need a safe zone!